On the wasting of your time by others,

Introduction: The wasting of your time by others (and by yourself, too) is a really big problem. It is a drain on your life, potential, hopes and resources. Let’s face it: we have all wasted huge blocks of our time, and that time is gone forever. However, that is not the focus of this article. Much time is lost through the activities of others, working on us, or with us. This problem should be considered separately. The purpose of this article is to analyze the different ways our time is wasted by others, why it happens, how to react to and oppose time-wasting that is “imposed” on us, and finally how to pre-empt time-wasting and live more pro-actively. Ultimately, we should not have to spend our time “resisting the time-wasting encroachments of others”; we should be living and using our time in a better, more intentional way.

Body: (a) What happens – the many different ways your time is wasted. Time is wasted according to “venues” and “opposing events”. The “venues”, which are planned / intended, are things like meetings, parties, appointments, travel, student performances, job-obligations, and the like. It also includes daily routines, like cleaning and housework. The “opposing events” include delays, unfilled time, the “in-between times”, “no-shows”, and “unexplainable events”. If you analyze most of your past events of time-wasting, you will see the interplay of “planned / intended venues” and “opposing events” at work. They are the framework for what happens next. Depending on your level of fatalism, they are planned and unavoidable… or they are flexible and solvable. However, to all, they pose a challenge.

(b) Why time-wasting happens – various reasons. There are many reasons why time-wasting events happen to you. Here are some of them; they can be divided into three groups – management, other people, and outside variables.

One of the biggest reasons for wasted time is poor leadership, especially in controlled, “top-down” social groupings, where people who are not leaders (or their subordinates) are by default “followers”, and often unlikely to take the initiative, or to take risks, when it is needed. In many cultures around the world, a “top-down” approach will always be used; it is unrealistic to expect a different way. Therefore, any attempt in these cultures to reduce time-wasting must involve effective strategies by the leaders. However, this is often not the case. Bad planning is one reason; “cluster-failures” by the followers often follow. Many of the leaders make their decisions known at the last minute. This is almost certainly a control-measure; it keeps the subordinates waiting, on their toes, unable to plan… and wasting their time. This pernicious dynamic can be seen clearly in the run-up to the holidays, when leaders do not clearly tell their staff when the work period “ends”, and when the holidays “begin”. The result is havoc, in terms of the workers’ ability to buy their train or bus tickets home; much time is thus wasted! This problem happens again and again, years after year.

Another management-related dynamic that causes much wasted time is the problem of “the missing person”. In security-conscious cultures, the execution of a project will not depend on one person, but on two or three. All three together, at the same time and place are necessary. The classic example is “the missing key-man”. You want to show a film to your students. After some effort in application, the department head agrees; a room is found, and a time set. However, at the appointed time, you arrive to find the door to the cinema room locked! The students are milling about in the corridor. When the department head is telephoned, he cannot help. The room is under the control of another department, and the most important part of the equation – the man with the key – cannot be found. This “cluster-failure” scenario is all too common. It is a passive (aggressive) form of control, requiring unrealistic amounts of effort to break. For many people existing under this system, not trying and doing something else is better then trying and wasting one’s time.

In summary then, “people-management” is more important to many leaders than “time-management”. Maintaining the “control of amber”, through passive forces of systematized inertia, is thus more important to many leaders, than other methods and values. The result is wasted time and effort.

The second source of time-wasting comes from other people. These can be one’s colleagues, or people outside one’s circle. When there is no unity or co-operation within the group, decision-making and execution are held up, communication is less efficient, and it is much easier to fall into time-wasting traps. Sometimes, nobody cares. Where there is no clear and open communication, the amount of time wasted is even greater.

The third source of time-wasting comes from “outside variables”. For example, “bad luck”, a bad day at the office, or something similar can waste a lot of time. These causes cannot be linked to any obvious failure in leadership, or to observable outside influences. “Bad luck” is one source. Another is “one missing piece of the puzzle”. Often in life, one is endowed with 95% of the assets, but not with everything. However, the missing 5% is the critical part, and the 95% is worthless without it. It is like standing outside a room full of money, but not having the key. However, unlike the earlier example of the missing key-man, this example does not involve human error, such bad planning or leadership. (Here, some fatalists might say, “The fates are against us.”) One thing though is certain: When one piece of the puzzle is missing, time-wasting is very likely to follow.

Another “outside variable” leading to time-wasting involves the “in-between” time which exists between formal, scheduled time-blocks. It is here that the vast majority of lost minutes and hours come from. Most of nature’s interesting animals and plants exist in the “frontier zone” between eco-systems, such as in the thin strip of land in-between a forest and an open field. In the same way, the “eco-system of lost time” is most prolific in the unaccounted moments between fixed, planned blocks of time. When the scheduled blocks of time are made longer or shorter by unforeseen circumstances, then the problem is compounded. What makes the tragedy of lost time so painful is that it happens in fragments, in bits and pieces, in largely unnoticed increments. The amount over time is very, very big. This loss is the fault of the individual, not the leadership, or others.

(c) How to oppose time-wasting – reactive counter-measures. This part of the article will discuss how to deal with time-wasting events from a “reactive” perspective. (“Pro-active” will be discussed later on.) There are four parts: theoretical concepts, actions, mental position, and social adaptation. Throughout this part of the article, the individual’s reaction / response to life’s time-wasting events will be considered.

First, one should consider the concepts behind reacting to time-wasting events. Directly put, do not fight it! Do not oppose the leaders directly, or others, or “the fates”. Most leaders are fixed in their ways, proud, unwilling, or else unable. The same goes for most of “the others”. A “bad day at the office” is very hard to bulldoze into submission. For the fatalists, “the fates” are not to be altered. Therefore, one should expect time-wasting events to happen. It is more important to understand the nature of wasted time, especially the “in-between” times – short, unexpected (to you), and unavoidable. In reality, this is not a problem, especially if one uses time-wasting events to one’s advantage, and if one considers them as a resource which can be used, and not as a waste-product. Since time-wasting events are unavoidable, one should always factor in and prepare one’s response.

Second, one should consider what actions to take, when faced with a time-wasting situation. In the “heat of the moment”, when one’s plans are being ruined with every passing moment, only actions will carry one through. One should always carry a book in one’s bag. (It is all right to be reading four or five books together: one in one’s bag / briefcase; one by the bed; one by the toilet; one in one’s hand or pocket; one on the desk.) Or, one can have a “pick-up / put-down” project (such as knitting) in one’s bag, for instant use. I like to use language-study / vocabulary flash-cards. One can keep a running list of people to send text-messages to. Always carry some paper, for writing down ideas, or a letter to someone. These projects, and others like them, can be done piecemeal, and all the better because they are done piecemeal.

Third, one should consider one’s “mental position”, when dealing with time-wasting. Do not, under any circumstances, let the moment steal one’s mind, or attitude! Rather, choose to use the time to review or preview one’s ideas / plans / dreams. To do this, one should be able to “tune-out” of the futile-zone, and go into one’s own world. This action is deliberate, and planned, and has an objective; therefore, it is somewhat different from just “tuning out, and withdrawing into unreality”. One should be able to live on different “levels” simultaneously; one should not just be in one place, or at one “level” at a given time. One does not have to be a Zen-master, to apply this mental attitude to one’s own, daily work-life/ routine. In this paradigm, there are only two domains – the abode of wasted time (and time-wasting), and the abode of recovered time (or, time-using). All other variables ought to be irrelevant. So, what “mental position” should one follow, when time-wasting events come – as they will?

Fourth, one should consider the question of “social adaptation”. In short, one cannot avoid one’s peers or colleagues as if they did not exist – one has to act openly before them. One can choose to act alone (i.e., “We have some dead time now. I am going over there to read a book. Call me when things liven up.”), or one can incorporate one’s peer-group (i.e., “We have some dead time now. Let’s do this alternative project together.”). Frankly, I prefer to do things alone (i.e., “If you want it done right, do it yourself.”). However, this is sometimes socially imprudent. Sometimes it is better to incorporate one’s peer-group (i.e., play together, talk, share assets, share food).

In all of the above, one should try to thrive within the prevailing and often unalterable environment of time-wasting, and carry on in spite of it, but not try to act in direct opposition to it. The “system” is just too powerful for that.

(d) How to pre-empt time-wasting – pro-active measures. This part of the article will discuss how to avoid a time-wasting crisis in the first place – as opposed to part (c), which discussed responses, after the crisis arrived. How can one avoid a time-wasting crisis, and learn to live outside of it, from the beginning? There are two aspects to this issue – “avoiding”, and “living”.

First, in order to successfully pre-empt time-wasting, one must avoid many things, especially people. One should become hard-to-reach; this means one cannot be “roped-in” by others at the last moment. If one has a cell-phone, the others will always be a problem!. So, don’t have a cell-phone! One should live life on one’s own, very “intentional” terms, and not in response to the overtures of others. One should do one’s “big projects” alone, away from the view of others. Above all, one should avoid all others who are time-wasters, co-dependent, and project-losers. This may sound harsh and very selfish, but almost all groups contain a “loser”, or some person of dysfunctionality, who, like a soap molecule, invariable looks for a grease molecule to cling to and neutralize. Moreover, the “hidden consensus” of the group tacitly supports this move, for it rids the majority of two sources of trouble in the group – the co-dependent individual, and his / her victim, who also has group dynamic problems. How the “soap” finds the “grease” is a mystery that is always consummated.

Second, in order to successfully pre-empt time wasting, one should live pro-actively, be prepared for anything, arrange one’s assets creatively, and look ahead always. One should have many “small projects”, previously conceived and always at hand, ready for quick deployment. These projects can be unfinished, not yet started, available, ready to go. My bedroom, my desk, my office, my life are full of unfinished things, which some might condemn as a flaw of character… but I never lack “something to do” on a rainy day. One should have one’s mind at many levels, and running the full spectrum of many paradigms… and not just a few. One should use books, and especially newspapers and magazines, as time-fillers, rather than as learning tools. This last idea may seem strange to many readers. To this, I say: time-wasting is a crisis, and real learning deserves “unpolluted time”, time when one is alone, at one’s desk, and in full control of one’s time, with the porch-light off and the phone off. Save the low-grade reading for life’s crises, and the high-grade reading for oneself! One should dream – both big dreams, and small dreams. One should try to actualize as many of them as possible. It should be, “Life on one’s own terms, in one’s own time, not life on their terms, wasting one’s own time.” One can expand or contract this way of thinking, depending on one’s own “threshold of selfishness”.

Let the reader take note: time-wasting is a form of inertia, and inertia requires energy to overcome it. This holds true for both the selfish and the unselfish, each of whom must draw their energy from different wells.

Conclusion: This article seeks to find some ways to overcome time-wasting crises in one’s life. Time-wasting causes so much silent, cumulative damage in everyone’s life. This article reviewed what happens, why it happens, how to oppose time-wasting events after they appear, and how to pre-empt time-wasting events before they arise. This article is limited in scope, and does not contain all the solutions to this problem. One thing is sure: time-wasting events will always be a problem in human life. All people who value their short time on Planet Earth should use those reactive and pro-active strategies which suit them best. However, the author hopes that many people will adopt a more intentional approach to life: that is, have dreams, gain inspiration, make up reasonable plans, and execute them!